homesick o.O

it is three days after the awesome day of feb19.

i never expected myself to feel this homesick from day 1 in melbourne and i guess it is probably the first time i actually felt what homesick really is since i was 12 which is when i started to live away from my parents...

well, even when i wasn't living with my parents and my brother, there was always someone who was there with me whether it was my other member of family, friends and they made me feel comfortable.

today, it was a little different.
i knew one of my housemate is at uni and he'll be coming back later. i know my other housemates and other friends are coming back to melb end of this week... some are already back in melbourne... but when i opened the house, there was this total emptiness. not only the absence of other human being... it was the whole atmosphere which was empty... hollow.. i just came into my room and collapsed and cried for while... i couldn't stop it...

it was only back in japan for 1 and a half month to be with my family... last year i spent time with them for 8 month before i moved to australia but i didn't feel homesick..

ok it's fair enough that last year was my first australia and big change.. i was really nervous but really excited and didn't have enough room to feel homesick..

this is my second year so i thought it'd be the same or i'd even feel a bit easy since i'm used to melbourne.

but no... first thing came in my mind when i opened my door was i miss my parents.

i really really miss my parents...
i don't say this kind of things out loud usually...

REUNION

when was the last time i updated???? well... today was the best day of 2010 thus far so i decided to write here!!! :p

well, i'm just continuing what i started writing on facebook...

tomorrow will be busy packing and watching olympics.. thus today was essentially the last day in japan... and HAD AN AWESOME DAY n it was the best day since i've been back in japan!
had a reunion with my childhood friends since kindergarten for the first time after leaving japan for 8 years... one couldn't make it unfortunately...
they haven't changed... i haven't changed (according to them)...catching up on what i missed for 8 years... i have this happy-exciting feeling which can't be explained by words..
sigh... these kind of things makes me not wanting to go back to melb even more...

it made me realise again that there is better than having friends...

i'm glad 2/19 happened to me.

damn so long... lol

Results

There are two cases which i hate when i'm finding out my results...
1. getting something way below my expectation.
2. getting a mark which is a lower side of the boarder line of two grades

the reason i'm talking about this is i just found out my result (obviously!)
AND I'M PRETTY DISAPPOINTED... all of my 4 results are within my expectation and some were higher so that was good. stats way way beyond my expectation knowing how shit i did during the semester.. BUT for one of the subjects, i missed a mark to get H1... basically it's the situation where you missed a mark to get 7 in IB... and because of this, i just i repeat.. I JUST missed to score all H1 for the last semester... man... this really can blow you out.

overall happy but maannn...

first year gone

haven't been uploading for ages. not that anyone actually read anymore.. and i'm not sure what made me come back here. boredom is one of the reason. haha my last post was UNI SUCKS..

my flight is drawing near. now i actually do feel like my first year uni life is over. it was so quick... still remember 19th of February; day one in melbourne, felt so anxious and lost.

Year one with respect to the life as a whole, i think it was rather successful year. apart from 恋愛 of course, which has never been successful haha... nah not worried about that. What i learned the most this year is that friendship is the key to success in uni and possibly in the society. i met up with my old friends and made some new one. But u know what, it somehow feels different from "friends" in uplands.. back in penang, the friends i had made me feel like they are my bros and sises. in here i don't feel that. I don't think it's because ppl are cold or anything.. because there are far too many people here and u don't see them as frequently as your high school friends. Some say high school mates are your friends for your life. i guess it's true.. in uplands, there was always this "at home" atmosphere.

anyway, it is now already december. the final month of the year. and of course, it's the special month for me. in less than a month, it will be 2010. too fast!

hopefully my exams come out alright..

oh one other thing.. good luck to my mum n get well soon. having an operation to get gallbladder removed due to cholelithiasis (gallstone) tomorrow. of course i didn't know the medical nomenclature. special thanks to wikipedia.

UNI SUCKS!!! (at least for last few weeks)

amount of workload..... temptation to procrastinate.... the subjects i have to take this semester... sleep deprivation..... and pretty much everything else that is uni related... hasn't been too great recently... (i guess social part is alright)

so far, I screwed up almost all tests (spanish i got back today was shocking...yeah i didn't realise i skipped a page until last 5 min... then when i realised it, my brain just panicked and shut down), not been able to follow lectures although i'm trying to...

im not failing... but all the outcomes are not pleasing and not something I wanna see...

perhaps i'm too complacent coz i did fairly good last sem?

people around me are all so smart... making me feel extra stress...

study more? i know i should... but i don't think i'm not doing enough either....
is this my complacency again???

sigh...

hope rest of the world's having a great day and will have a awesome weekend...

Procrastination

I am suffering from this devil´s whisper called procrastination...
Procrastinating knowing that i´m wasting time...
I have even being procrastinating to update, almost forgetting that i have my own blog.
I recently wrote on facebook what´s in my mind box that I´m shitting in my pants...
This is why on top of many other reasons. TT

Japan-Australia

Exam period.... I'm 3 down 1 more to go
That one more is on next week... so Me (and my house mate)decided to go to watch a football game (call it soccer in australia like US), the final game of FIFA Worldcup 2010 qualifer... to show support to my country and it could be the once in a life time opportunity...

both countries have already qualified to the W-cup... so the game could have been not as serious or it would gonna be boring game...
but match turned out excellent despite the score line (japan 1-2 australia)... we scored first... still lost TT... but this was australia's first goal conceded in this tournament.
the stadium had a capacity of holding up to 100000 people and the total attendance of last night was 69870... there were seriously a lot of people... 97% roo's supporter of course...

sigh... japan lost.. but ticket was worth it and the game was worth watching(we bought the second cheapest ticket and it's meant to be restricted view but it was hardly restricted at all!! :P) the game turned out great... we witnessed 3goals. and first goal from japan was beautiful. second of oz team was also excellent.. the third... wasn't so beautiful.

THE JAPAN PRIDE! hmmm wasn't really shown in the result last of night's game. players and fans had it of course... next time in South Africa baby... must revenge them haha...

congrats to Australia and Tim Cahill (both goals came from him)
and go JAPAN (i just had to say it right lol)!VAMOS NIPPON!!!!!