homesick o.O

it is three days after the awesome day of feb19.

i never expected myself to feel this homesick from day 1 in melbourne and i guess it is probably the first time i actually felt what homesick really is since i was 12 which is when i started to live away from my parents...

well, even when i wasn't living with my parents and my brother, there was always someone who was there with me whether it was my other member of family, friends and they made me feel comfortable.

today, it was a little different.
i knew one of my housemate is at uni and he'll be coming back later. i know my other housemates and other friends are coming back to melb end of this week... some are already back in melbourne... but when i opened the house, there was this total emptiness. not only the absence of other human being... it was the whole atmosphere which was empty... hollow.. i just came into my room and collapsed and cried for while... i couldn't stop it...

it was only back in japan for 1 and a half month to be with my family... last year i spent time with them for 8 month before i moved to australia but i didn't feel homesick..

ok it's fair enough that last year was my first australia and big change.. i was really nervous but really excited and didn't have enough room to feel homesick..

this is my second year so i thought it'd be the same or i'd even feel a bit easy since i'm used to melbourne.

but no... first thing came in my mind when i opened my door was i miss my parents.

i really really miss my parents...
i don't say this kind of things out loud usually...